Darryl and Harold were in a mental institution. The place had an unusual annual contest, picking two of the best patients and giving them two questions. If they got them correct, they were deemed cured and free to go.
Darryl was called into the doctor s office first and asked if he understood that he'd be free if he answered the questions correctly. Darryl said "Yes" and the doctor proceeded. "Darryl, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?"
Darryl said, "I'd be half blind."
"That's correct. What if I poked out both eyes?"
"I d be completely blind." The doctor stood up, shook Darryl s hand, and told him he was free to go.
On Darryl's way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Darryl mentioned the exam to Harold, who was seated in the waiting room. He told him what questions were going to be asked and gave him the answers.
So Harold went into the doctor's office when he was called. The doctor went thru the formalities and then asked, "What would happen if I cut off one of your ears?" Remembering what Darryl had told him, he answered, "I'd be half blind."
The doctor looked a little puzzled, but went on. "What if I cut off the other ear?"
"I'd be completely blind," Harold answered."
"Harold, can you explain how you'd be blind?"
"My hat would fall down over my eyes."
Cheers (K)
Nariman.
http://foreverknight-nk.blogspot.com/
Date: Fri, 15 Feb 2008 02:29:00 +0500
From: naseem.ullah@gmail.com
To: naseem.ullah@gmail.com
Subject: Pass It On ( she is just asking for dua)
Asslamualaikum,
My daughter Salma, who is just 12 years old is battling for life at a Local hospital, she is suffering from cancer and is presently in the last stage. The doctors have given up all hope but then I have trust in ALLAH and in the power of dua. Therefore as a helpless mother of a dying child I beg all of you to pray for my daughter, please include her as a part of each and every dua of yours. Please pray to ALLAH that He should give her body the strength to respond to the medication, that He should somehow miraculously heal her of this disease and Inshallah grant her a healthy and long life (AMEEN)
Please, please pass this message on to as many Muslim brothers and Sisters as you can. If even ten percent of you would remember to pray for my daughter then it would mean a lot for us. Your duas and Allah's mercy is our ONLY hope.
Thank You,
Parveen
Please don't forget,,,,, before close and fwd this page
ALLAH ap sab ko apni amaan mein rakhay...
Please Please always remember me in ur prayers.
Foreign cultures hold special interest for you. Go out and learn more about them.
Foreign cultures, food, music, dance and even politics will hold special interest for you right now. You are getting more eager to push beyond what you know of the world. You want unusual stimulation, and this is an important sign that you are about to go through a growth phase. Expose yourself to different cultures and immerse yourself in them as much as you can. The world is a big place and you know so little of it -- isn't it time for you to go out and start learning more?
Two doctors and an HMO manager die and line up together at the Pearly Gates. One doctor steps forward and tells St. Peter, "As a pediatric surgeon, I saved hundreds of children." St. Peter lets him enter.
The next doctor says, "As a psychiatrist, I helped thousands of people live better lives." St. Peter tells him to go ahead.
The last man says, "I was an HMO manager. I got countless families cost-effective health care."
St. Peter replies, "You may enter. But," he adds, "you can only stay for three days. After that, you need to go to the other place."
The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you
can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then
you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about
why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this
childish behavior.'
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little
boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some
money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to
think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that
Rs.50 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to
the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.
'Are you asleep, son?' He asked.
'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.
'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the
man.
'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you.. Here's the
Rs.50 you asked for.'
The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you daddy!' He
yelled.
Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.
The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry
again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up
at his father.
'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father
grumbled.
'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied.
'Daddy, I have Rs.100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?
Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with
you.'
The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he
begged for his forgiveness.
It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We
should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some
time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.
Do remember to share that Rs.100 worth of your time with someone you
love.
If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily
replace us in a matter of days.
But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the
rest of their lives. And come to think of it, sometimes we pour ourselves more
into work than to our family.
A married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor. The husband asks "I notice you've been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?"
"Yes" she replies. "He's my ex-husband and has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago."
"That's remarkable" the husband replies. "I wouldn't think anybody could celebrate that long."
Services will be held at 2:30pm Saturday at Forever Green Mortuary.
> > This is GOOD...I expect it back too!
> > I especially like the last sentence!!!!!!
> > A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
> > A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself and doesn't feel even the least bit weird shutting your 'beer/Pepsi drawer' with her foot!
> > A simple friend has never seen you cry.
> > A real friend shoulder is soggy from your tears..
> > A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
> > A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
> > A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
> > A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
> > A simple friend hates it when you call after they've gone to bed.
> > A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
> > A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
> > A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
> > A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
> > A real friend could blackmail you with it!
> > A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
> > A real friend calls you after you had a fight.
> > A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
> > A real friend expects to always be there for you!
> > A simple friend reads this e-mail and deletes it.
> > A real friend passes it on and sends it back to you!
> > It keeps us together, like our Circle of Friends.
> > Today I pass this on to you.
> > When you are down to nothing ...
> > God is up to something.
'Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.' Forever Friends...
Do you see four women?
Find the faces
|
| I Want You To Be Happy Day [Mar 3] Last week, I told you about that email from Aaliyah about how she wanted to start dating again. I told her, "I really want you to be happy," in my reply email. She did her best to communicate to me after all. I should've listened better. I mean, I was in the relationship for a long time, but things just blurred into the background. I could've paid more attention and given her the support that she needed. |  |
| Good Luck I got home and Adrian, my roommate, was in character acting out scenes from his off, off, off Broadway play that'll take place somewhere in Brooklyn. I opened the door and he was literally 'caught in the act'. He maintained character and started improvising on me. I just played along since I was in a better mood after my drink with the GI. We talked about Aaliyah and the screening. |
| Say Hi To Mom Day [Mar 5] The next morning, Mrs. Bradley came by to invite me to the Baptism of her grandchild. She told me how lucky she is to have a family that cares for her and keeps in touch with her. It's true, a lot of older folks are home alone and their children are busy with their own kids. "It's so good having you around, Bob," she said, "It makes all the difference. You know, you're very much a part of my family. That's why I wanted you to be there when we christen little Andrew." I was really touched. It lifted my spirits, too--I never really thought I was important enough to be invited to a close family gathering. "Of course I'll come, Mrs. Bradley. This means a lot to me too, ya know? I'm just glad I can be counted on." |
|
Hope this will cheer you up more :) B happi
> > DON'T LOOK AT NAKED LADY
> > Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
> > Boy 2: Becos my mum said that if I look at a naked
> > lady, I'll turn into stone. A part of me is getting
> > hard already!
> >
> > NAMES OF WIVES
> > A malay man had 4 wives, and he called his...
> > 4th wife..... baby doll
> > 3rd wife.....china doll
> > 2nd wife.....barbie doll
> > 1st wife..... panadol !
> >
> > HOW INDIA GOT ITS NAME
> > This is how India got its name.....
> > The king was having sex with his mistress while
> > thinking a name of his
> > country and his mistress ask him 'is it In Dear?'...
> >
> > RESEARCH FINDING
> > Research shows men are fatter than women because
> > every-night men get fresh milk & 2 papayas
> > women only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts & 1 tea-spoon of
> > starch!
> >
> > ARAB MAN
> > An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.
> > 'Your name pls.'?
> > 'Abdul Aziz '
> > 'Sex? '
> > 'Six times a week!! '
> > 'No, no, I mean male or female! '
> > 'Doesn't matters, sometimes even camel !'
> >
> > SERVICE
> > Sex is like a restaurant.
> > Sometimes you get full satisfactory service, and
> > sometimes you have to be
> > satisfied with self-service'
> >
> > HAPPY MAN
> > What makes a happy man?
> > Daughter on the cover of cosmo.
> > Son on the cover of sports illustrated.
> > Mistress on the cover of playboy
> > and .. Wife on the cover of 'missing
> > persons'
> >
> > SWIMSUIT
> > Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?
> > To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY
> > section.
> >
> > GOOD AMBITION
> > Teacher: What do you want to become?
> > Little Johnny: Doctor !!
> > Teacher: Why?
> > Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u
> > can tell a woman to take
> > off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.
> >
> > DENTIST
> > Woman complaining to dentist: 'It's so painful, I'll
> > rather have a baby
> > than have a tooth removed.'
> > Dentist: 'Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the
> > chair accordingly.'
> >
> > VIRGIN
> > Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her
> > tombstone to read :
> > BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
> > The engraver shortened it to: ' RETURNED UNOPENED '
> >
> > OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL
> > 75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.
> > On their first night both were crying - why???
> > Coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten
> > everything.
