What do one do when one needs a breather?? Where can one escapes?? .... and too who?? Friends??
Well, whoever and where ever they can find comfort. But how do one break it slowly and kindly to one's parents if the problem lies in the parents - child relationship. Which parent want to loose a child?? What can be done??
I have been there and seen and known toooooooooooo many of these problems circulating. When a child is lack of space and parents lack understanding ..... what will the final result be?? Teenage angst and rebellion?? This most often than not harsh words being thrown back and forth ....
"No respect" parents accuse. "So rude." is the other comment.
"I'm her parents. Not a friend." continued in rage. "Why can't she see that!! She must think." lashed out in fury.
"Haven't I followed everything you tell me to do?" retort softly from a teenager. "Why don't you trust me?? I tell you my whereabout and whom I'm with." came another reply. "Please respect my space and time." Came a silent plea.
So who normally gets the blame .... Parents blame the in betweens - friends, nannies, guardians and whoever else they can think of. In actual fact - is there someone really at fault here?? Or is because we FAIL TO LISTEN. We hear the children banter on their problems which soon became and STILL IS BECOMING the parents problems. Yup, I think its the LISTENING and the lack of UNDERSTANDING.
Parents lash back - a teenager should never have privacy as its a privilage. Its NOT optional.
HOw can we solve these soooooooooo common woes from teenagers?? BUT THE MOST important thing is .... will my parents listen and try to understnad. Are both sides Parents and Child - willing to compromise. Will and CAN both sides accept reallity and facts?
My opinion as a Guardian and Godmother and Teacher and Aunty:
Respect is something one earns and not because of rank. ...."I will respect you because of your rank. But I don't have to be sincere about it." heard this before?? A cliche reply??
So how do we EARN their respect??
Listen to their needs. They have voices that need to be heard.
>> Parents should practice what they preach. Trust them and give them space of time that they need.
"Hi sweetie, how was your day?" asked a parent. "Oh, we did ........... and we had ........ " came the reply. Only such a frank and candid reply would come from a child who trusts the parents will shoulder the child's feelings and not get an "I told you so" kind of retort. ONLY WILL THE CHILD OPEN UP.
Actually that goes for me too when I was a teeager.
The need to know and spy on the child is unnecessary when the child automatically opens up. Otherwise a mono syllable reply is what one will get more then often.
Conclusion: TRUST!!!! LISTEN!!!! so parents (that includes me) or people in general CHANGE is not always bad. Being a FRIEND to a child is NOT wrong.
Before the end .... one will gain respect and respect will be earned. Secrets will be shared - no spying needed this will come trust.
Support the World Aids Awareness campaign this month with Yahoo! for Good
No comments:
Post a Comment