Tough Love

Tough love is an expression used when someone must treat another person harshly or sternly in order to help them in the long run.

In most uses, there must be some actual love or feeling of affection behind the harsh or stern treatment to be defined as tough love. For example, genuinely concerned parents refusing to support their drug-addicted child financially until he or she enters drug rehabilitation would be said to be practicing tough love.

The more important question -- whether tough love is the right approach itself -- is almost never broached. Advocates of these programs call the excesses tragic but isolated cases; they offer anecdotes of miraculous transformations to balance the horror stories; and they argue that tough love only seems brutal -- saying that surgery seems violent, too, without an understanding of its vital purpose.

Yes, B.A.L.A.N.C.E. is what we all seek. Due to my own "bad records" whereby I've dragged my family (not by purpose) .... they help me because they love me. Time and time again they have never failed to see me through. .....

But how much can they help me?? There are times when I do feel that their words are cruel though they meant well. Its like the story "The Boy Cried Wolf". So much so one can never tell when one's words are real.

Being open and frank always helps to make the other party to understand the situation better. But it is THAT OPENness and honesty that is difficult to come out. Why?? Fear of what the family might look at the situation and put you down AGAIN. Ego - also plays a part most of the time and THIS have made me withdraw from my family time and time again. It is this very action that give the family the impression that I don't care for them. *sighs*.

So .... who do we end up turning to?? We end up turning to the "wrong" people or "friends". In the end THESE people become part of our other life. So much part of our lives that we can't live without either. The part that "THE FAMILY" know little off. ..... if they DID know it would seem wrong to them.

Cheers :>